Lost You
You are invulnerable, you have no Achilles' heel.
My soul is not satisfied
that it has lost you.
It was convinced you were Cupid's blessing.
It never should've doubted whether I should come back to you.
That's why I now seize the moment,
and try to freeze it,
and own it.
Because now I know,
what it is like without you.
Mr. Mutombo,
ReplyDeleteYou have a few really excellent lines in this poem. "I was convinced you were cupid's blessing" and "That's why now I seize the moment" were great; however, I think if you expanded upon your ideas and made the poem a tad longer you'd be able to convey your ideas more effectively.Great work,
Sincerely,
Genevive Louise Noette
There is no advice that I could possibly give you, you nailed this. It was an incredible poem. My favorite line was... "That's why I now seize the moment,and try to freeze it,and own it." You are a good poet. Good work!
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